At long last, Raila Odinga has taken a stand .After 3 days in which 1 million man orange march amounted to no women marching and Balala running like a chicken to the slaughter, the ODM strategists have come up with the reason why the Kenyan elections were rigged and why no one was marching.

 Speaking on condition of No Raila No Peace, one senior official from mashada reported that the strategic committee of No Kenyan should eat if Raila is not president (NKSEIRINP) ,had found the reason for no million oranges marching in the streets was, " The Kikuyu GSU were drinking milk from brookside" .

The ODM NKSEIRINP committee has therefore banned all Kenyans from drinking milk. Isaak Ruto explained that the best milk is mursit (fermented milk).

The "people's President" said this while having a cup of coffee at Hilton Hotel whose milk is supplied by Brookside Milk.

In the meantime, all ODM members have been asked to remove their cash from any Equity Bank branch. It was very sad to see that there was no Equity Bank branch in Kisumu to burn so ODM has decided to never go to Thika to bank their cash as a sign of protest. Equity bank fearing losing all the clientele in Kisumu has decided to appease ODM by banning anyone from drinking milk in their premises. All tea served at the bank will be sturungi.

ODM members have also been advised to boycott all the buses that go to Kisumu, Eldoret and any buses in Nairobi. Since Kibaki rigged the elections, no ODM member will ever need to ride on a bus again. After all, walking is good for you .

Charity Ngilu explained that this was a health issue. With the current rise in diabetes in Kenya, it was important that during Christmas holidays , Kenyans walk from Nairobi to Kakamega. She further explained that no one should ask why the ODM MP's could still drive their cars as " our cars are not really cars but duty free cars. It is our duty to drive in them so that Kibaki can go."

The ODM MP's have decided to take a pay cut. They will cut a big portion of the budget and give it to themselves every month untill Kibaki goes home.

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