Koffi Annan will be greeted with a contingent of a new coalition of the Kenyan vigilante. Members of Parliament have decided to leave their political differences for the sake of their $10,000 a month salary.

It was a during a press conference which only the East African Standard was invited that the new path to freedom and democracy was revealed. Members revealed the composition of the new piece keepers that Kenya will send to Darfur. It was not easy to set up the coalition and a lot of sacrifices had to be made.

Anyang Nyongo was quoted as saying " We are willing to sacrifice everything. We shall sacrifice your life, your babies life , your job security , but we can't sacrifice our salaries."  John Michuki was in total agreement, " we do not need international mediators to tell us how much we should be paid when people are dying in the streets."

The piece keepers will have a contingent of Kalenjin warriors led by Isaac Ruto. Mr. Ruto explained that the Kalenjin warriors main duty would be to burn as many babies as possible so that the Sudanese government can resign. " We shall flash them out from the mosques and houses with fire and machetes" .

After the Kalenjin warriors have burnt all the churches and mosques , the mungiki , to be led by John Michuki will be used to harass and circumcise everyone in Darfur. The idea is that once all the women are circumcised, there shall be peace on earth and less hungry babies. That plan will be aimed to make the Sudanese government resign.

The police spokesman , will utilize the latest in Hollywood technology and shoot everyone in the back still alive with fake television footage. According to Kiraithe, nothing is better than fake image manipulated video to scare the hell out of everyone in Darfur.

Not to be outdone, ODM bloggers promised to increase the preasure by posting racial and hate blogs . "We know there are kikuyus in Darfur, so we shall kill them with our words on the internet until they are all eliminated" , said the chief spokesman ODM Stockholm blog

The highlight of the day was Pastor Mary Wanjiru and mungiki making peace. Mungiki leaders complained that their membership had greatly reduced and they needed more soldiers. At this point, Pastor Wanjiru rose up and with all her grooly touched all the dead mungikis on the head and they all rose from the dead. Not like Jesus but like Lazarus.

Everyone stood up and sang Kuna Dawa with Kalonzo shouting " It is a Miracu !!" .

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